Crawling out of the Funk…

… can be a very hard thing to do.

I don’t know what is wrong with me really. I have not written on here with any regularity and that is not good. I promised myself that I would not just drop off the face of the earth when it comes to my writing especially here. Yet my usual writing enthusiasm has dwindled down to nothing.

I have been quite content with getting up and doing much of nothing. Perhaps it is because I sit here and look at all the things that need to be done. Yet certain things stop me from doing them. My back hurts, my neck hurts, my knees hurt.. it causes me to be laid up when I do something wrong to one part or another of my body and that just pisses me off. Not that I do not want to do these things that must be done outside, but I don’t want to usual outcome of it.

I went and saw Dr. Holt the other day and she increased my T, so now I wear two patches. Finding places to rotate them has been interesting, but I think I have it down now. I was talking to her about being more active and since my knees are bad I thought about doing something like chair aerobics except in this case it would be to Dance Central on the kinect and she told me that would be great. Yet I have not done it yet. I need to..

The other day I was sitting and looking around the living room, that is coming along nicely except we have not painted yet, and I just felt this overwhelming need to write. Put fingers to keys, in this case, and just write whatever comes to mind. But I didn’t do it. I let the moment go and my sheer laziness won out over the need to write.

I have rarely been on my computer for anything in the past month. If I can stay away from it I am perfectly happy. I don’t even get on Facebook that much anymore.. but I need to.. I network there… I communicate with our daughter at college there and hell I am still the President of the Alliance so yeah, doing something is necessary in that case.

So for the past two days I have actually gotten on the computer and did stuff..

I was asked to speak at the United Unitarian service again. I do believe I set for March 10th to speak. I have been going over in my mind what I want to talk about and how I can bring a message and information to the people. I have been wanting to do more talks about being transgender and how I feel sometimes in this community… The people I work with, the people I meet everyday and how the community eats at itself from the inside out. I am not sure how I am going to go about that yet, but I am working on it.

I want to be personal without being overly personal, you know what I mean?

So since I am here let me up date you on some things.. like I said my T has been raised.. my face itches more now… I need to shave more often but I think only because I want it to grow in thicker and darker.. I actually have a full face of peach fuzz.. and the hair on my lip tickles Angel’s mouth when she kisses me so that is nice.. lol.. sometimes lol..

Angel and I have been talking about our future.. focusing actually on making sure everyone is protected in case something were to ever happen to one or both of us.

I never really saw myself has having much in the way of valuable items, but over the course of the past year or two I realize where as I don’t think they are valuable as far as money they are valuable to our kids. And now that we are buying a house and have a house full of furniture, well there is more to think about.

So we have started looking into life insurance, and where J would go if something happened to us before she was old enough to take care of herself. You know that is not something one talks about with a potential partner on the first date and it was not something we really talked about in our 8 years together. It is amazing how we both had the same ideas about what we would like. Right down to the fact that we both want to be cremated. Though we both knew that ages ago.

So since this is my blog and I can do with it what I wish.. I am gonna show you some pics of our decor in the rooms of our house .. YAY!!!

Angel is doing the Tuscany theme in the kitchen. That light was given to us by our friends.

The living room is a woodsy earthy feel but with blades LOL.. We have mostly our Indian items and Wolves in here .. marked sharply by my collection of different blades.. these are just two of them.. I have many many more..

 

 

The Bedroom and our private batch is marked in reds and blacks we have an Asian theme kicking in there..

 

Well that is it for now as I was going through taking pictures I found something else I need to do.. go through all my old pictures and look for my Grams… Have a good one ya’ll